Are You There World? It’s Me, Mandy
This isn’t what I originally meant to post today, but it’s what I’m GOING to post, ere I lose my mind…
I need some advice. Actually, I need some opinions. I already know what I am going to do about this, I just need to know if I’m crazy for making this decision.
This is in regard to my seventeen (almost eighteen-year-old) daughter. And I am writing this with the express purpose of having her read it after (hopefully a few times).
A little background:
When my grandparents died about ten years ago, they left some money to each of their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. This means that each of MY children have (or will receive) $3000 on their eighteenth birthday. There were no specifications about what to do with the money – they could do with it as they pleased.
My oldest son (who is now twenty-one) bought himself a nice guitar – like really nice – and then kept the rest of the money to be used throughout his university years for entertainment, and buying clothes and stuff.
My younger son (now nineteen) spent his money on his first year school tuition. Even though we pay for most of it, we have asked the kids to contribute some to their education. We think it’s only fair. My husband and I paid for most of ours.
Now it is my daughter’s turn. She will be eighteen in June.
Our problem: how she wants to spend HER money.
Her plan is to pay for her and a few friends to go away on a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean – she is hoping Jamaica – on one of those “last-minute deals”.
Yeah, I know – we have our concerns…
1. First of all, $3000 isn’t going to go as far as she thinks it will. Even with a “last minute deal”, I doubt her money will pay for everyone, and then she will be asking us for the rest, which isn’t going to happen. So this could very well make this whole thing a “no go”, which is kind of what I’m hoping for. Even if she does manage to pay for the trip, she will have spent every last penny she has, leaving her with nothing in case of emergency.
2. I’m not sure this is what my grandmother had in mind when she left her the money. I could think of better uses for it. Even if she wanted to do a grad trip, she could go with her friends to a nearby city, and spend the weekend. Then she’d have some left over for other stuff, like moving to New York…
3. Which is what she plans to do in a year’s time. She intends to spend the next twelve months preparing to audition at a dance school down there. She has a few friends who are already doing it. This is New York City she is talking about though. She is going to need as much financial support as she can get in order to make this dream happen. My question then becomes, if she is willing to use this $3000 on a trip, then how badly could she want to move to New York? Her father and I are NOT paying for that.
4. With regard to the grad trip, this means she will be traveling OUT OF THE COUNTRY at barely eighteen with no adult supervision. I’m not a fan.
5. I’ve seen the movie Taken, and so has she. And she wants to go during hurricane season (because it’s cheaper, obviously). And I’m not flying down there to save them should something go wrong.
ETC. ETC. ETC.
Apparently, her friends are all allowed to go. I haven’t talked with their parents yet, and I wasn’t really planning on it, for the reasons stated above.
My husband and I have discussed this. We know our decision on the matter, which I’m sure you can tell from my comments. What I want to know is, are we being over-protective parents or not? Some kids have moved out by the time they are her age.
Any comments or suggestions on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated. I don’t want to fight with her, but if I’m going to put my foot down, I want to know that I’m being fair. HELP!