Happy Valentine’s Day To My Dear Husband: Here Are Those “Pictures” You Keep Hounding Me For
It is the stereotype that women tend to be stimulated by words and ideas. In my case, it is a valid assessment, which is why my husband has written me love notes saying things like…
“Unwavering and unquestionable, with every fibre it rings true. Both now and forever my Fox, I will love you…” Aaaaahhhhh…
It is also the stereotype (and true of my husband) that men tend to be more visually stimulated, hence (I believe) the reason he keeps telling me to take “pictures of myself” doing “stuff” so he can “use them” when he is out-of-town sitting all alone in a hotel room somewhere. And who am I to not give my husband what he wants?
So here you go dear, Happy Valentine’s Day…
First picture of me doing “stuff”: I had to go to Michael’s today to get a few things to make something as part of this gift. I may have also stopped by Winners to look for some new jeans. What, you want me wearing track pants everywhere I go?
Second picture of me doing “stuff”: Here I am in the car making a cute heart symbol with my fingers. How thoughtful and sweet am I?
Third picture of me doing “stuff”: Here I am – after my little shopping trip – laying on the couch in my housecoat with Cleo on my lap because that’s what I do all day when you are at work. Oh God, did I have a headache. It must’ve been the chocolate pudding I had for lunch. Sugar does that to me sometimes.
Fourth picture of me doing “stuff”: Here I am doing the dishes – what else is new? – while wearing a scarf. I don’t know why you set the thermostat to 18 degrees during the day. It’s almost as cold inside as it is outside.
Fifth picture of me doing “stuff”: Here is the product of all my hard work. Clearly, I’m not naked behind the sign, but you can imagine that I am, right? With how needy our three children are, you have to imagine it most of the time anyway. You are probably pretty good at it by now.
Sixth picture, not of me doing “stuff” but of something: It could be worse. I could be this guy. Source: forum.santabanta.com.
Seventh picture of me doing “stuff”: OK, here I am in my new dress – the one you helped me pick out (along with Madame Seashells) – waiting to go out to dinner to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Now, I’m not saying that it is going to be tonight, because in our house, things never work the way they are supposed to, but it will be soon. Before NEXT Valentine’s Day for sure. 
Happy Heart Day! I love you, dear – XO.
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That’s sweet, Fern! I bet he totally appreciates it! **snicker**
Karen
He’s still at work. A surprise awaits LOL.
This is FUNNY!!!! Thanks for the great laugh. Your life looks a lot like mine, especially the sitting on the couch thing (except I have a dog).
We all live the same lives it seems. Every time I talk to a woman, I think that.
LOVE it! and esp love the kitty photobombing the last picture. that dress is awesome on you and love the shoes, too! I wear a scarf in the house too, no insulation in SoCal so it gets super cold. Well not YOUR cold, but cold for here! Happy Valentine’s Day to us all!
I didn’t even see Cleo at first LOL. But she follows me everywhere, so I’m not surprised. Lionel too.
Yes, Happy Valentine’s all around.
You are stunning.
Those are the best pictures of you doing “stuff” ever! I am so gonna use those all the time! Thanks Fern. That’s why I love you. Always doing cool shit just for me….LOL. Happy Everyday to you F.
Love C.
Happy Everyday to you too, C. Wish I’d been smart enough to say that first.
This post was exactly what I needed after my long, hellacious day of being “of service” to the public. Can you say “ball rash?” Ugh! Thanks for providing me with a much needed chuckle!
That dress is beautiful, by the way. Love the shoes, too! I hope you got to wear it someplace nice. If you did, I hope you ordered incorrectly, returned your food at least once, and then asked for the manager to complain about your server’s attitude. Because why should I be the one to have all the fun?
Glad you enjoyed! And I’ll have you know that I don’t make it a habit – ever – to complain about my server or the food. Unless there was like a giant hairball in my pasta, I wouldn’t say anything. If I don’t like something, I just don’t go back.
And you are right, why should you be having all the fun LOL?
That’s because you’re a peach. Seriously, I had to restrain myself last night from hauling off and bitch-slapping a few “guests”. I wasn’t actually waitressing, I was running food. When I run food folks often think I am a manager. So, I get all kinds of complaints. I literally told someone to “simmer down”, LOL! Really. They choose to bring their dates to a theme restaurant, instead of making reservations(we don’t take reservations — you come in and you wait) somewhere nicer, and then want to complain about how long they waited for a table, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And because they waited over an hour for a table they expect their food to miraculously appear on their table within 5 minutes of ordering it. And, of course, they can’t be bothered reading the menu and so, inevitably, the order incorrectly and then want me to, again, miraculously, fix their error — cook them a new, well-done, steak, for example, within 2 minutes. It’s the worst day to work in a restaurant. Hands down. The worst.
I waitressed for a few years – like two – when I was about eighteen/nineteen. People just don’t get it. And holidays were by far the worst. That you can actually do this for a living makes me think you are a goddess. People in the service industry (or business in general) have to put up with so much shit. I was just thinking that as we were standing in the car rental place last weekend and some guy was going off at the manager. I could never do that job, or your job. Everyone has a skill. You must be good at what you do if you only told someone to “simmer down” yesterday – which makes me laugh, BTW. Too funny. I’ll bet you’re glad that day is over.