TheFurFiles

This is the computer situation in our house…

There are five people, and five computers. Two of those computers belong to my husband – he uses one for work, and the other is his regular laptop. My boys each have their own. I have one. And my daughter HAD one, but it died, partly because it was old, and partly because she accidentally did something to it that she shouldn’t have.

We also have a few really old monitors that my husband refuses to get rid of, but I don’t count those. I just see them as more evidence that he is a hoarder – sure, a baby hoarder, a “I’m just starting out” hoarder, a “my house doesn’t look like those houses on television yet, but everyone starts somewhere” hoarder, but a hoarder nonetheless.

If you do the math, you will see that we are one computer short.

Now, we have ordered a new MacBook because sharing computers in our house is like sharing toilet paper. It doesn’t work very well.  Really, it doesn’t work at all. When someone is left keyboardless, there are often issues. Yelling and swearing issues. Issues I’d rather avoid. Besides, my daughter is due to get a new one anyway. The deal is, the kids are each supposed to get one for university. She’ll be getting hers a few months early, but that’s OK.

Bottom line: the new computer’s not here yet. And the other day, as my daughter and I were jousting (like literally) for keyboard time, she was getting very angry with my husband who had sprawled himself and his entire “computer work station” across the kitchen table. He likes to go back and forth between his “work” computer and his “play” computer doing his charts, and watching Youtube videos of Russian car crashes, and “the universe could explode at any time” documentaries.

“Why can’t you just use your work computer to do everything? Give Mom your other one, and then I can use the one she has. Then we’ll all be happy. You do want us to be happy don’t you?”

“Nobody is touching either of my computers,” my husband declared. “You guys wreck everything, your mother included.”

He’s exaggerating. I only occasionally wreck stuff. I’ve only dented my car once or twice. I did break the fridge, but that was an accident. And I only did something to my computer to make it stop working those three times, but it has a warranty. Why else would a person pay the extra three hundred bucks? I gotta get my money’s worth somehow.

OK, so I’m a computer killer just like my daughter, so sue me. My husband doesn’t know how to feed the cats properly. He just gives them kibble. They like fresh meat. Nobody’s perfect.

“I don’t care if you guys are happy or not,” he said, all huffy. “Your ‘happiness’ can go suck it. I’m keeping my computers to myself. Go to the library if you are that desperate.”

Wow, nice guy. He can be so understanding sometimes.

To show her disapproval, my daughter made this picture and gave it to him. We then went out shopping for new summer clothes. Sorry dear, but that’s what you get.