Don’t Buy Into It: Companies Making Money Off Women’s Insecurities
Note: this is NOT meant to be a product review because I generally don’t do those. It probably should be though.
Yesterday, my daughter bought herself this thingamajig. It looks a bit like a sex toy, but really it’s just a “Neckline Slimmer”. I think it cost her about seven bucks. How do you use it? Well, you put your chin on a little pad, and you move your head up and down over a spring-loaded mechanism. Because it provides resistance, you end up working your neck and “chin-al” muscles.
I was trying it out this morning, just to see – you know – how fun it was. When my son saw me, he said, “What the hell is that?” The thing makes a very distinct see-sawing noise upon activation.
“Oh, it’s just the Neckline Slimmer. It’s for your neck. To make it slim.”
“Let me guess. T bought it.” T is my eighteen-year-old daughter.
“Yes, all models need to have great necks,” I said sarcastically. My daughter is planning to get a job as a model (or go-go dancer, gulp) when she moves out of Ottawa and goes to a “real city” (her words, not mine – sorry Ottawa). It’s how she is going to support herself while attending university out of town.
At least – and I applaud her for this part – she’s thinking ahead. She has über-expensive taste. Somebody is going to need to fund all of the expensive clothes and Neckline Slimmers that she will undoubtedly plan on buying.
And the model thing? It could happen. She 5’11″, and very svelte. From her years and years of dancing (and a little bit from her attitude), she moves like a panther – stalking to kill. Plus, she is well-versed in how to wear hair extensions and false eyelashes.
Don’t worry though. I’m not encouraging this avocation in any way. That “it’s all about looking like a skeleton” industry annoys the hell out of me, but there’s no telling her that. Besides, she’ll probably need the money…to live in that “cool” city…so far away from her family…wherever it may be. Her choice is her choice. I think she just wants to break out on her own, which is fine. Primarily, I think she wants to get away from her overprotective mother. Guilty as charged. She is definitely the most independent of all of my children.
Anyway, back to the Neckline Slimmer. Of course, my son thinks it’s ridiculous. “That’s silly. That was a really silly purchase,” he said, only he didn’t use the word “silly”. What he said was way more offensive, and I’m glad she wasn’t in the room when he said it. It would’ve been the beginning of a battle. “You could probably just put your hand under your chin, and get the same effect,” he added, examining the contraption more closely.
“You probably could, but why make things simple?” “Simple” is not a word in my family’s vocabulary.
As for the “go-go dancer part” – because I know you saw that – she didn’t say stripper. Feel relieved. I know I do.
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