Another "Pets And Kids Destroy Everything, It’s A Good Thing They Are Cute" Story

I try not to let “things” control my life. I want to live simply, staying as healthy as possible, laughing lots and experiencing all the joy the world has to offer. I don’t need a Gucci watch or a Northland 72″ side-by-side custom refrigerator to be happy. Having said that, I also don’t want to live in a cardboard box. (And I wouldn’t turn down that refrigerator if someone just left it on my doorstep.)

Sometimes, I want nice things – nice pieces of furniture, and nice articles of clothing. Besides, nice things – or things that are made well – generally last longer than not-nice, cheap things. Can you say that stupid IKEA desk and those even stupider IKEA lamps?

Anyway, I’ve been doing a little shopping lately. We have a basement that is sitting pretty much empty, and we needed a new couch at least, and some chairs, and an end table or two, and possibly a coffee table, and there was this pair of jeans that I saw…

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Flashback To The 80’s: Nerds Are People Too

I grew up in Cambridge, Ontario. It is a medium-sized city with a population of approximately 133 000 people. It is a very picturesque place with a river running through it, and a few old and very statuesque churches scattered throughout the downtown. It also has a wonderful farmer’s market and the best chocolate store called Reid Chocolates. If you are ever passing through, make sure you stop there. The “tortoises” (like extra-large Turtles) are amazing.

As nice as Cambridge is however, it wasn’t the most exciting place to grow up. Typical bush parties, and walks to the burger joint for a bowl of fries and gravy – that’s about as thrilling as it got for me as a teenager.

The only other fun thing we had was the town roller rink. “The Forum” as it was called, was the highlight of my world for about two or three years – from the time I was about fourteen until I was old enough to use fake ID to get into the scummy local bars. You see, “The Forum” – not to be confused with the strip joint that was located directly across the street – transformed every Saturday night into a huge dance party for kids my age.

Flashback To The 80's: Nerds Are People Too | TheFurFiles
My nerding it up with my little brother. We were making Easter eggs. I really haven’t changed over the years.

I remember getting all dressed up in my 1980’s outfits – one particular gem was a knitted red pencil skirt with matching top and shoes…and probably matching purse and hair accessories as well. No one ever told me that dressing like a tomato wasn’t attractive, so I went with it.

I remember waiting in line at 8:30 for the dance to start at 9 p.m. We all got there early. We had nothing better to do. I mean, what does life consist of when you are fifteen? For me, it was reruns of Happy Days and Love Boat, and my cat Nelson. Surprised? Probably not.

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I Hate You, Steve Perry

Before you get your feathers all in a “don’t be mean to Steve Perry, he’s a good guy” flap, I don’t really hate him. But right now, if I hear his song Don’t Stop Believin’ even one more time, I’m going to take something very sharp out of the cutlery drawer and slice through someone’s shirt (not my own) just enough that they get the idea that I’m losing my frickin’ mind.

The problem: Zach a.k.a. Roary Raynor a.k.a. Mr. Rockstar (as I like to affectionately call him)…

I Hate You, Steve Perry | TheFurFiles

(NOTE: For those of you new to my blog, my oldest son is the lead singer in a band. His goal in life is to be a musician – a money-making musician (there IS a difference) – and as his mother, I will do whatever it takes to support him. My husband, on the other hand, says that he has until he finishes school to pursue his dream and mooch off of us, and then it’ll be time for him to get a real job. Dads are always so tough. I guess, we’ll see what happens. He has one year left.)

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I Had Kids And Then This Happened…

When I was younger – BEFORE children – I was different. As you might expect, physically I was different, like my belly was relatively smooth and stretch-mark free, like I didn’t have so many grey hairs, like my vagina hadn’t been assaulted by a doctor’s arm and three bowling ball-sized creatures that had passed through it.

Emotionally, I was different as well, like I didn’t worry so much about every single, itty-bitty, teeny-weeny thing.

And I bring this up now because my girlfriend wants me to go with her so the two of us can get our motorcycle license together. I’m not sure. Honestly, I feel like it would be taking a risk that I’m not ready for. My children still need me – a lot. And I know, I could walk out the door and get hit by a bus tomorrow [knock on wood], but still, motorcycles make me nervous. Not that I don’t think I’d look good on one. I would – in my leathers, and my sexy boots, because I WOULD have sexy boots. Not sure how the helmet would affect my hair though.

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Celebrities Being Eaten By Sharks

If I had my way, this is what I’d like to see on Shark Week. And don’t send me any hate mail. First of all, Kim’s HAD the baby. Little North – or is it East? – wouldn’t be in any danger. And I’m not saying that I want poor Kim to get eaten exactly – even though it looks like it – I just want her hair and make-up to get really messed up. No one should look that good all the time. It’s fucking annoying.Celebrities Being Eaten By Sharks | TheFurFiles

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